AYSO Lost Weekend

This weekend was spent at AYSO (American Youth Soccer Organization), getting my Intermediate Coaching Certficate, again. Somehow it was lost and so, the traffic school of the soccer world became my world.

One of my pet peeves is to spend time sitting in a classroom reading the same powerpoint/handout as everyone else together. I read and retain well enough on my own. It doesn't help me to read aloud as a group for the benefit of those that, apparently, cannot.

You put enough people in a room and inevitably someone feels like they have to ask a question, argue a point or provide their input, not because it's valid, necessary or important, but because it makes them feel like they've been heard. It must be affirming for them, but it is a complete and utter waste of time for the rest of us. What could have been a simple on-line learning module with maybe a half-day of review for the folks that couldn't get it, is a Friday night and Saturday of soccer classroom hell.

Sunday is field instruction where you spend the day doing drills. It's much better than classroom time and is taught by some qualified English coaches. We also had some cute, female high school, varsity soccer players in our class, and as I had played college soccer and used to be competitive, I had to put out significant effort. There is something in this 40-year-old man that cannot allow himself to be beaten by high school girls. At one point, a coach called my efforts "explosive" which does wonders for a 40-year-old ego. Thirty minutes before the Sunday class was over, my calf popped, and I was done--a pulled muscle while attempting to sprint for a pass. The costs for losing an AYSO coaching certificate go up.

ayso lost weekend

it seemed a coaching
certificate, lost
could be regained
in a lost weekend

two-and-one-half days,
a weekend of soccer
instruction for the slow
moving ones
and me

thinking i'm all that
forgetting what is
40 years-old
last hour of drills
"explosive" sprinting

"pop it" jokes of dumb parents
screaming dumber things
they don't get it, the game

my calf tight
show these people
what a former player can
(pop! goes my calf) do

the costs of coaching ayso
of regaining a lost coache's license
of losing a weekend
have been found